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Self-care has a few definitions. The dictionary definition is “the practice of taking an active role in protecting one's own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress”.

But it is also described as:

• the reverse ‘golden rule’ i.e. treating yourself as well as you treat others;

• actively paying attention to how you live to ensure mental and physical balance in an unbalanced world

• treating yourself with the same firm-but-fair kindness that a loving parent shows a small child.

It involves both removing sources of discomfort and stress by taking care of the basics (personal hygiene, housework and life admin) and also creating opportunities for socialising, creativity and relaxation. Because it’s all about achieving balance, many types of activities can be acts of self-care in the right context.

Audre Lord

The importance of self-care, as we understand it today, was first recognised by queer, black women activists in the 1980s, most notably Audre Lorde. They faced requests that they support every possible equal rights protest and campaign while the other white/male gay rights, male/straight black civil rights and white/straight feminist protesters did not return their solidarity in kind. In addition, they faced the draining effects of the worst combined discrimination. The net effect took a toll on their health, both mentally and physically.

As Lorde said in her book, ‘A Burst of Light: And Other Essays’,

“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence. It is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare,”

In a world that taught her to believe she was unworthy of care, this was a powerful statement.

Self-care in mental health

Self-care has gradually become mainstream. early adopters were mental health practitioners, who recognised that many people recovering from trauma and abuse would also benefit from focusing on their own well-being and needs. People with mental health needs often feel they don’t deserve kindness and will tend to neglect themselves in all sorts of ways. Being given explicit encouragement to focus on their own physical and emotional needs helps them to heal. Both Martha and Alex have found practising self-care to be really beneficial for their own mental and physical health.

#Selfcare

Sadly, as self-care became a mainstream concept it’s been co-opted by brands looking to sell any product that could conceivably be used to promote relaxation or well-being. As a result you will see a lot of models and influencers adding #selfcare to sponsored posts selling beauty and health related products.

While the occasional fancy face mask or superfood smoothie can make you feel good, they’re only a small part of self-care.

Why is looking after your money self-care?

Money troubles are stressful. So avoiding money-troubles is practising self-care. Because self-care is about a balanced life, and a balanced life avoids stress and includes pleasure and fun, both over-spending and under-spending are poor self-care.

Seeing personal finance in this light can be a great re-frame because it takes away the sense that managing money is something you do because it’s ‘good’ or ‘right’. Instead it becomes about peace of mind and ensuring you can meet your needs and create space in you budget for at least some pleasures.